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Breaking Free From Unhealthy Soul Ties


A soul tie is an unusual bond that connects one person to the other. It is an emotional connection that links two souls together like a glue that is difficult to break free from, even when that is what is desired.

There are two types of soul tie:

  1. Healthy Soul tie
  2. Unhealthy soul tie

The bonds between husband and wife, siblings or family can be identified as a healthy soul tie. A bond or tie becomes unhealthy when it makes the individuals do things contrary to God’s design. For example, when a man or woman have sex outside marriage, a wrong soul tie can be formed. An unhealthy soul tie is like bondage. It could be accompanied by the desire to please the other person above all, and a desire to spend time, money and other resources on the person without caution. It could be manipulative, controlling or abusive at some point. Any relationship with these traits is an unhealthy soul bond.

How the Soul Tie is Formed

Soul tie can be formed through the following:

  1. Sexual intimacy.
  2. Flirtation
  3. Vows or promises made by words or blood initiation.
  4. Close relationship.
  5. Fantasizing about a person you don’t have a real-life relationship with i.e. celebrities or making an idol of a person.

Sexual Intimacy

Sexual Intimacy within marriage or outside marriage is one of the viable means of soul tie formation. Sex is more than an act or a game; it is sacred. Sexual intimacy is not just the nakedness of the body, but connection of the spirit and the soul. Sex has the capacity to make two souls to become one. Within the confines of marriage, the act is healthy because God designed that man and woman become one flesh without shame. But outside marriage, regardless of the persons, gender, age or circumstance, it leads to the formation of a wrong soul tie. That explains why it is common for a person to still have sexual longings for an ex-lover.


Flirtation is another type of soul tie which may slightly differ from the first. This can happen when a person is just having a fling. It can involve saying romantic words to get the other person’s attention, etc. It may not necessarily involve the act of sex, but it definitely involves sexual advancement by words or actions. Flirtation could be mutual.


The kind of soul tie that is developed from vows or promises can either be healthy or dangerous. People must realize that words spoken are powerful and living! People make promises or say things that attach them to other persons.  Often times you hear individuals making promises they don’t intend to keep, but that has led the other person to believe them and has made them binding.

Close Relationship

A relationship grows when you dedicate time for it. The people we spend our time with eventually become so close to us that a bond is formed. For example, we spend time with our siblings, close relatives and friends. This time spent has created a bond between all parties involved. A man and a woman cohabiting will eventually form a strong soul tie after a period of time. A different kind of bond can also be formed between coworkers or friends.

Of all the ways a soul tie is formed, the most difficult to break away from is the sexual soul tie. You may call it ‘casual sex’, but in reality, a strong soul tie is formed. You don’t have to say a word, spend a lot of time together or have sex more than once for this tie to be formed. One sexual encounter is just enough for souls to be glued together! What would it look like having sex with more than one person? Can you imagine the number of souls that would be glued to one person?

Most people who fell into the sexual soul tie were either uninformed, misinformed or seeking a deeper relationship through it. Regardless of the reason, soul tie is too strong to easily break free from. Not even distance can break these ties.

Finally, soul tie may not be between opposite genders alone. There are some sibling and parent-child relationships that are soul-tied. How do you explain a child who is unwilling to leave his parents’ home even when the time is due for that?

Soul tie may also be between a person and animal.

The points below may help you to identify instances of unhealthy soul ties:

Signs of an Unhealthy Soul Tie

  1. Obsession: This happens when a person finds it difficult to forget another person even after break-up and/or the passing of a long time.
  2. When the memories shared with the former partner constantly over-shadow those of the new partner and when there is continuous visualization of the former partner even while having sex with a spouse.
  3. When there is confusion and contradictory ideas between the feelings and the mind. This happens when the emotion (intuition) says one thing and the mind says another (it is actually very normal to have these contradictions. Please check again).
  4. The feeling of helplessness. Feeling helpless without the person you really want to be away from is another sign of an unhealthy soul tie. This helplessness may make a person feel miserable and keeps them going back to the other person even out of will. The feelings come with a sense of hopelessness without the other person.
  5. Becoming disorganized in the absence of this person, such as losing the desire to dress well, eat or even falling sick, but getting over it at the sight of this person.
  6. When you choose this person over important relationships in your life, such as your spouse.
  7. When the person is taking the place of God in your life.

The signs are innumerable, and the list is inexhaustible.

Possible Ways of Breaking an Unhealthy Soul Tie

It is not impossible to break a soul tie, irrespective of how long it has been or how tight it is. Very importantly, you need to truly desire to want to break such ties and ask for the help of God in order to achieve that. In addition, you should be ready to do the following:

  1. Take necessary steps to break free from your ex or soul-tie partner. You cannot do this without experiencing some pain. You need to tell the person you are breaking the relationship, resist talking to the person as usual, avoid meeting up with the person in private and avoid using words that could connote your interest in the continuation of the relationship.
  2. Don’t maintain friendship with the person you had a soul tie with, especially if they’re your ex. It is a matter of time before the fire ignites and the cycle begins.
  3. Let your spouse know about your ex and that you have severed every tie with them. Transparency will not only help you to build trust with your spouse; it will also prevent you from going back to your vomit.
  4. Avoid getting hooked in another type of soul-tie relationship. Set boundaries in new and existing relationships and most importantly, make God your standard and His word your guide.

Above all, you need to continuously pray and have faith in God that the bond be broken.

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