Just Before You Walk Down The Aisle

Weddings are one of the most eventful moments in a person’s life. Most of us day dream of the day we will eventually marry our heartthrobs. For some, it remains a fairy tale that may not come to be, but for some others, it is a fairy tale that is coming to reality.

A marriage is likened to a business investment and like any business you need money to start one.

Your money in marriage is Love. There is something we called The Love Bank Account. If you keep withdrawing from this account without making deposits, then your account can go into the red (deficit). Love can fizzle out if not well nurtured. It is this nurturing that increases your bank account and keeps love alive.

Love alone is not enough in marriage. Commitment is what makes “Yes I Do” a present tense!

Dr. Gottman posited in his research that couples who have shared meaning have better chances of thriving in the marriage. What this means is that couples should find a common vision or dream for life which will help them to gain healthy perspectives.

Communication: This may sound over-rated, but the success or survival of a marriage relationship is highly dependent on how well you thrive in your communication. You need to understand your communication style, which is one out of the many differences you are going to experience.

 Understanding the differences which transcends gender:. This includes differences in culture, upbringing, values, perception about life, sexual orientation (what sex means to each person) amongst other differences.

Spousal Role: Who does what in the home? This is one of the root causes of conflict in the home. Intending couples should discuss this before going into marriage or engage the service of a marriage counsellor or coach to shed light on this.

Create daily/weekly rituals that will keep you connected: This is a commitment to quality time together. How you leave/depart each morning and reconnect every night is an indication of the depth of your commitment to your spouse and marriage. I discuss extensively in one of my books, Marital FirstAid.

Managing External Factors: You can be married and still have healthy relationships with families, in-laws, friends and colleagues. You only need to be aware of healthy boundaries.

There are many things to learn including sex, finances etc. However, this article cannot cover all.

@MarriageAid2018

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