Quite several people should be conversant about the phrase, “Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener”.
I have ruminated over this for quite a number of times, and I have two sides to my view about it.
Truly, when you see what transpires in some marriages today, it is sometimes downright conflicting with what the couples had in courtship. While I do not agree that love is deformed in any way, I have come to understand that people in love can sometimes have blind spots about their partners.
No matter how long people are in courtship, marriage makes a huge difference. The exchange of vows makes a crystal modification. Living together 24/7 changes the dynamics of things.
Most of the time, people fall in love from a distance. When you see people from afar, they can look like angels, attractive and almost perfect. But nearness makes the invisible clear.
As long as there is distance, it is not hard to love because you don’t get to see people in their true state of vulnerability.
Marriage brings home that reality. I remember when I first got married, I came into marriage with lots of fantasies, which were stimulated by the numerous romantic novels I read while I was single. I romanticised about my husband bringing breakfast to me in bed each morning to having sex regularly. It was my perfect picture.
But marriage brought me to the reality of two individuals with different fantasies, who never really put into account the enormous things that could trigger conflicts. Fantasies do not take cognisance of unforeseen issues such as financial draught, waiting seasons, unhealthy habits, negative patterns, etc.
The other side of this phrase is that with adequate premarital counselling, couples are better prepared to confront their fantasies and match it with realities. They are well guided to develop skills and techniques that will help them have a desired marriage.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you having fantasies or dreams, but what can wreck this is lack of awareness and right knowledge of how to appropriate it.
We have different write-ups @ www.marriageaid.ng to help you learn more on how you can build thriving relationships.
You can still have the marriage of your dream; take advantage of our online counselling line 08099931039.